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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Spotted on YouTube:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Trending via Discord:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Just landed via Reddit:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Live now on Pinterest:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Funny borrow quotes

Funny borrow quotes bring a hilarious twist to the classic act of borrowing 📚😂 Whether it’s about lending money, clothes, or even a pen 🖊️, these witty sayings capture the awkward, relatable moments we all face. Ready to laugh at those oh-so-familiar “borrowed and never returned” stories? Let’s dive into some cheeky humor that proves borrowing can be both funny and unforgettable! 😜💸

New funny borrow quotes 👇

All funny borrow quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Telegram this month:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

45 shares on X this month:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

56 shares on WeChat this month:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

My recliner and I go way back.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email kills us both.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,287

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Going viral on Threads:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Spotted on Facebook:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Seen just now on Discord:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Going viral on Instagram:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Trending via Messenger:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

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