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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,969

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,969

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Breaking via Telegram:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Reported on Snapchat:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Shared recently on Slack:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Going viral on Threads:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Trending via Reddit:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Making waves on WeChat:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,969

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,969

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Going viral on X:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Spotted on Discord:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Seen just now on Threads:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

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