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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Live now on TikTok:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Spotted on Slack:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Making waves on Messenger:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Going viral on Reddit:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Making waves on YouTube:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Spotted on Reddit:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I love it when God gives me money.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

1 month ago

advice, back, bedtime, before, breaks, career, dating, ex, fix, going, humor, i, lesson, life, life lesson, recommend, relationship, sleep, trying
(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

1 month ago

confession, dating, even, guy, humor, i, love, relationship, unrequited, unrequited love
The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

1 month ago

dating, disappointment, expectation, finding, guy, humor, just, loser, lust, personality, reality, relationship, sweet, sweet guy, thing, worst
I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

1 month ago

awkwardness, communication, dating, flirt, hope, humor, i, just, romance, say, thing, things, weird, weird thing
I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

1 month ago

dating, even, humor, husband, match, me, relationship, single, Tinder
I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

1 month ago

bad, bad luck, dating, humor, i, joke, left, love, luck, me, relationship, second, twice, women
If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

1 month ago

answer, dating, humor, just, lucky, relationship, response, single, someone
Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

1 month ago

dating, dating life, expectations, humor, life, love, meeting, process, relationship, someone, wrong
A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

1 month ago

app, dating, food, humor, mat, quirky, relationship, sandwich, Tinder
Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

1 month ago

attraction, complicated, dating, flirting, humor, relationships, right, single, things, where

For even more funny dating quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

10 shares on Discord this month:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

82 shares on Threads this month:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

23 shares on YouTube this month:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

25 shares on X this month:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

20 shares on Discord this month:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Just shared via Twitch:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Making waves on Facebook:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Spotted on WeChat:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Just shared via Reddit:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Spotted on Telegram:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Activity Log ✨

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨