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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,936

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Just shared via Telegram:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Spotted on Slack:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Spotted on Slack:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Just shared via Messenger:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Going viral on TikTok:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Shared recently on Threads:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Making waves on Facebook:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Home » Funny Dog Quotes » Page 15

144 Funny dog quotes

More funny dog quotes 👇

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

0

5 months ago

anyone, appropriation, cultural, cultural appropriation, culture, dog, else, gender, gender reveal, got, humor, i, invited, joke, just, own, party, people, reveal, say, white, white culture
Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

0

5 months ago

bathroom, companion, dog, feels, flashlight, going, humor, me, mystery, next, night, nighttime, nighttime routine, pet, pet companion, routine, solve
Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

0

5 months ago

activity, along, app, apps, base, baseball, baseball game, beer, dating, dating app, dog, dogs, drinking, eating, first base, game, hot, hot dog, humor, line, social, social activity, start, time, working
You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

0

5 months ago

confused, confusion, dog, feel, funny observation, head, head tilt, humor, i, know, looks, observation, people, sound, strange, talking, tilt

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All funny dog quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Slack this month:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

42 shares on Discord this month:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

77 shares on X this month:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Spotted on Instagram:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Trending via Twitch:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Just shared via Slack:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Just shared via Discord:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

144 Funny dog quotes

More funny dog quotes 👇

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

All funny dog quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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