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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has shared:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has shared:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has shared:

The void screams into me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has viewed:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has shared:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has downloaded:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has downloaded:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars β€” the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via LinkedIn:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Seen just now on Slack:

Ludacris once said β€œIf you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Just shared via Messenger:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Going viral on Pinterest:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Going viral on X:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Seen just now on Discord:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Funny duration quotes

Funny duration quotes β³πŸ˜‚ bring a hilarious twist to how we see time ticking away! Whether you’re waiting forever or wondering where the minutes went, these witty sayings turn moments into laughs. Perfect for sharing when patience runs thin or when time just flies by too fast. Get ready to giggle and rethink your watch with some seriously funny takes on duration! πŸ•°οΈπŸ€£β±οΈ

New funny duration quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny duration quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Slack this month:

Called in, β€œI can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep β€” and that’s so irritating.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

71 shares on Slack this month:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

16 shares on Slack this month:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase β€œno worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,321

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

I’m β€œI can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has copied:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has viewed:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has shared:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

β€œNew password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has copied:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has shared:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on YouTube:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Making waves on Slack:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Just landed via X:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Going viral on Twitch:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Just landed via Telegram:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

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