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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,531

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Spotted on Messenger:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Breaking via Discord:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Breaking via WeChat:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Spotted on Discord:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Spotted on Discord:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Going bananas on Messenger:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Funny estimate quotes

Funny estimate quotes bring a hilarious twist to the world of numbers and deadlines 😂📊! Whether you’re a project pro or just love a good chuckle about unpredictable timelines ⏳🤣, these witty sayings will brighten your day and make estimating a whole lot more fun. Ready to laugh and relate? Let’s dive into the quirkiest takes on those always tricky, sometimes wild, but never boring estimates! 🎯✨

New funny estimate quotes 👇

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

0

2 months ago

9, around, estimate, going, home, humor, i, job, jobs, money, night, plan, quit, relationship, run, tonight, travel, well, wife
When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

0

2 months ago

4th, 5, analogy, basketball, both, estimate, five, girl, humor, left, minutes, quarter, sports, sports analogy, Teams, think, time, time estimate, timeout
If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

0

2 months ago

dating, dating show, device, entertainment, estimate, estimation, exaggeration, humor, medical, medical device sales, number, only, people, population, reality, reality TV, sales, satire, show, shows, states, TV, us, US population, work
Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

0

2 months ago

ball, ball park, before, context, estimate, give, humor, invention, much, park, pretty, rough, someone, sports
I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

0

5 months ago

am, both, estimate, humor, i, intelligence, me, paradox, self-awareness, smarter, think, underestimate, wit

All funny estimate quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

81 shares on Slack this month:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

72 shares on X this month:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Spotted on YouTube:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Going viral on Facebook:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Breaking via TikTok:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Going bananas on X:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Making waves on Snapchat:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

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