Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Just shared via Reddit:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Making waves on Messenger:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Broadcasted on X:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Spotted on Telegram:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

197 Funny exercise quotes

More funny exercise quotes 👇

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

1 month ago

again, exercise, face, fitness, HIIT, humor, joke, just, me, pain, sarcasm, trying, workout
I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

1 month ago

donut, exercise, fitness, going, humor, i, indulgence, procrastination, snack, today, yoga
I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

1 month ago

exercise, halen, humor, i, just, lift, music, van, Van Halen, weights, wonder, workout, writing
I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

1 month ago

2010, exercise, fitness, good, humor, i, procrastination, year’s
Running from your problems is cardio.

1 month ago

avoidance, cardio, exercise, fitness, humor, problems, running
Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

1 month ago

ask, exercise, fitness, humor, me, most, people, question, questions, sarcasm, shoulder, shoulder workout, shrug, workout
I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

1 month ago

better, exercise, fitness, humor, i, journey, mean, motivation, reach, treadmill, walk
50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

1 month ago

50, daily, daily life, decision, exercise, family, humor, just, life, noise, parenting, stairs, trying, walking, worth
A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

1 month ago

comparison, exercise, fitness, humor, minute, sarcasm, sleep, time, times, treadmill
Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

1 month ago

clothing, exercise, humor, irony, jogging, lazy, pants, people

For even more funny exercise quotes, hit next 👇

All funny exercise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

75 shares on X this month:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

90 shares on Slack this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Making waves on Reddit:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Just shared via YouTube:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Spotted on Threads:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Making waves on Instagram:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Just landed via YouTube:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Activity Log ✨

197 Funny exercise quotes

More funny exercise quotes 👇

All funny exercise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨