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269 Funny family quotes

More funny family quotes 👇

  • Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

    Commentary:
    “Ah yes, the classic ‘Mother’s Day breakfast surprise’—where the surprise is that she still has to make it! 😅🍳🌷”

  • Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

    Commentary:
    “Name change? 😂 I better start posting more cat videos! 🐱📸 #DesperateTimes #FollowerFrenzy”

  • All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

    Commentary:
    “When dad becomes your partner-in-crime, you know it’s gonna be legendary! 🤫😂 #ShhhMomIsWatching”

  • If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

    Commentary:
    “Instant bragging rights unlocked! 😂🎖️#MomGoals #GeniusPlan”

  • Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

    Commentary:
    “When you thought you were dialling ‘support,’ but accidentally called ‘drama central!’ 📞😅🎭”

  • Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

    Commentary:
    “When the family slacker is also their star performer! 🐑🎭 #BlackSheepGoals”

  • Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

    Commentary:
    “When your parents are experts in spotting fake friends but get bamboozled by Aunt Karen 🤦‍♂️😂 #FamilyDrama #PlotTwist” 🌟👀

  • My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘Invisible Parent Act’—an enduring performance worthy of a standing ovation… from no one. 🎭🙈 #ParentingComedy”

  • I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

    Commentary:
    Definitely! Here’s a fun comment you can use:

    “Better yet, focus on your own adorable chaos! 😄👶🙃”

  • Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

    Commentary:
    Haha, true! Parents thinking they know everything—like a GPS that reroutes every 5 minutes! 😂🚸🗺️

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