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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Spotted on Twitch:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Trending via WeChat:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Going viral on Snapchat:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Trending via Snapchat:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Just landed via Facebook:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Going viral on Facebook:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Breaking via YouTube:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Just landed via Telegram:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

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