Commentary:
Guess I've been a trendsetter with my patented "Who Needs Lunch?" diet! 😅🥴🍽️
412 Funny health quotes
Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.
Commentary:
When I say I'm "hanging out with friends," I mean my collection of mismatched socks. 😜🧦🤪
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.
Commentary:
Guess I'm just trying to reach 'full charge' like my phone, but instead I’m vibrating more than it ever does! ☕🔋😅
Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?
Commentary:
"Brain: Overworked. Me: On permanent vacation mode! 🏖️🧠"
You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.
Commentary:
Pee-parations are key to an active social life! 🚽😅🚻
Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.
Commentary:
Who knew that "new job immunity" was the latest health trend? Where's my cape and superpowers? 🦸♂️💼😅
My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.
Commentary:
When your therapist said go for a walk, they didn’t mean through a live-action horror movie set 😂🏚️🌳
You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.
Commentary:
Double the ibuprofen, double the fun! Just don’t mix up your GPS for the bathroom! 😂🏃♂️💊
Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?
Commentary:
When your anxiety insists on the night shift, but you're just trying to dream of happy llamas 🦙😴🌜
Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).
Commentary:
When you try to put on your comfy PJs, but end up wearing existential dread instead 😂🛋️🌀