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Balancing between candle-lit dinners for one and launching a space mission to find someone who likes quiet… 🚀🍷😂
70 Funny high quotes
There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.
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I can't wait to see the 100m sprint where athletes teleport to the finish line! 🚀😂
Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.
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When laziness meets genius: procrastination becomes a superpower 😂🧠📚
Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.
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Finally discovered the real graduation gift: freedom from awkward high school reunions! 🎓✨😎
I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.
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Sounds like a Lego walk is less painful than reliving those awkward teen years! 😅🦶🧱
I think God was high when he made me.
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Sounds like the divine was feeling extra creative that day! 🌈😂✨
Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.
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Taking "higher power" to new heights! 🚀😆 #DivineAltitude
Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.
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Trying to create the world's first high-five-fueled resignation 😆🙌🔜🚪
I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?
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Arrr matey, I'm in! Just as long as there's WiFi on the ship for posting selfies with the kraken 📱🌊🦑
One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.
Commentary:
"Sounds like a real *bust* of a night! 🤣🔫😮💨 #Bra-dventures"