Funny quotes household

27 Funny household quotes

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

1 month ago

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

1 month ago

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

1 month ago

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

1 month ago

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

2 months ago

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

2 months ago

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

3 months ago

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

3 months ago

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

3 months ago

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

3 months ago

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

3 months ago

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

3 months ago

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

3 months ago

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

3 months ago

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

3 months ago

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

3 months ago

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

3 months ago

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

3 months ago

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

3 months ago

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

3 months ago