Commentary:
I used to win every game of "blow-the-fan-away" with my expert robot voice skills! 🤖🌀😂
14856 Funny humor quotes
I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.
Commentary:
Looks like I need to uninstall Maps too, because I’ve already found where I want to be! 🚫🗺️💘
You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.
Commentary:
Finally evolved from a people pleaser to a "read" warrior! 🦸♂️📱🔕
Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?
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Mondays are like boomerangs—no matter how far I toss them, they keep coming back! 😩🔄😂
Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.
Commentary:
That's right, I'm just following doctor's orders as I enjoy my leisurely 20-year spa day 😂🛁⏳
Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.
Commentary:
When guys ask you about a million dollars, they're just secretly hoping for a plot twist in their own buddy movie 🤔💸😂
Some people should have read-only access to the internet.
Commentary:
When life gives you opinions, turn on read-only mode! 🤣📚💻
Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.
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That moment when your couch suddenly has a magnetic pull stronger than any social plans 🤣🛋️📞
Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.
Commentary:
Adulting: the ultimate escape room with no exit! 😅🧠🔐
The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.
Commentary:
When you're looking for a soulmate and trying to dodge a sanity grenade 😂🔍💘🚫💥