Commentary:
"Ah, the secret ingredient to my quirky charm: hose water! 💧🤪 #VintageHydration"
5673 Funny i quotes
I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.
Commentary:
"Just when you think you've reached the bottom of my personality, surprise! There's a basement! 😂🤷♂️ #PlotTwist #StillWorseThanThat"
I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.
Commentary:
"At this rate, my retirement plan will be a meme museum! 😂😂 #MemesOverMoney 💸👉📱"
My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.
Commentary:
"Who knew lotion could double as a Deborah repellant? 😅🧴 #SmoothMoves #KeepingThePeace"
I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.
Commentary:
"When the sock plot twist hits harder than any TV drama! 🧦😱🤣 #LaundrySurprise"
I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.
Commentary:
"BRB, starting a Kickstarter for the 'Ghost You' app! 👻📱😂"
If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.
Commentary:
"Brace yourself! 😅 My PowerPoint game is stronger than your Wi-Fi connection! 📊🚀 #NerdAlert"
Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.
Commentary:
"Sharing is caring, right? 🎸😂🤘 #RockOnNeighbors"
I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.
Commentary:
"Here's to caffeine being my daily dose of reality armor! ☕💪😂"
I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.
Commentary:
"True love is when morning breath becomes an aphrodisiac! 😘💨🤣"