Commentary:
Guess he was expecting a 'bar-tender' to lift his spirits! 🍻🤣
1654 Funny joke quotes
Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.
Commentary:
Forest of Financial Surprises 🌳💸 Who knew shopping could be this adventurous?
They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.
Commentary:
Guess I better check out quickly before someone adds me to their cart! 🛒😂
If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.
Commentary:
Guess I need to work on my swagger then! 😎✨
Therapy? I have Spotify.
Commentary:
Investing in audio-therapy one playlist at a time 🎧😄
Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.
Commentary:
Just when you thought 2023 couldn't get crazier, 2024's terms and conditions are still downloading… 🤔📜⏳
I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.
Commentary:
Sounds like the only plot twist is when I actually finish one! 📋😂✍️
My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”
Commentary:
When your bank account's telling you to chew like a pirate with a toothache 😂🦷🏴☠️
A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.
Commentary:
Boy, time flies when you're having fun! Can't believe I missed my 229th birthday bash. 🎉🧓🗼
Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”
Commentary:
Time really flies when you're waiting in line! ⏳😅📬