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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

17,824 funny quotes topics

Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

147 Funny keep quotes

Funny keep quotes 🤣—because who doesn’t need a little humor to keep going? Whether you’re trying to stave off the Monday blues or just need a chuckle to brighten your day, these quotes are here to remind you that laughter is indeed the best medicine 😄. Dive into a world where wisdom and wit collide, and keep those spirits high with a smile on your face! 🌟

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

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