Commentary:
"When they see me, I want them to wobble like a Jenga tower 😂🧡 #KneesPlease"
147 Funny keep quotes
Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.
Commentary:
"Keeping it 'smooth criminal' on the outside, but on the inside, it's a full drama episode. 🎭😎💔"
I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.
Commentary:
🌊😆 "Jetskis: The ultimate ride-or-die! Either way, you'll have a splash!" 🚤💦
The lion can’t keep living like this.
Commentary:
"When the king of the jungle decides it's time for a career change. 🦁👔 #LionLifeCrisis"
I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.
Commentary:
"Just trying to see if I'm a VIP or just a very confused 🧐📱😂"
I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.
Commentary:
"Someone's ready to launch their 'Trinket Holding Co.' 🎁💕 Just remember: labels are EVERYTHING. 📛😂"
I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.
Commentary:
"I don't always say something stupid. But when I do, I make sure it's a masterpiece of epic proportions like a modern day Shakespearean tragedy… in 280 characters or less. 🤦♂️🤪 #WordsmithWoes"
I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.
Commentary:
"Who knew that being a walking disaster could be the ultimate secret to staying humble? 😉🤷♂️ Stay grounded, folks – literally! 😂 #HumbleBragFail"
I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?
Commentary:
"Visiting an art museum can be dangerous… imagine becoming the latest exhibit titled 'Unsuspecting Visitor'! 🖼️😱 Who knew admiring art could come with a residency offer?"
Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?
Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the eternal mystery of men and their attachment to clothing well past its expiration date! 👕🕰 Perhaps they're waiting for their wardrobe to evolve into a vintage collection without the hassle of actually investing in new pieces. 😜 After all, shabby chic is a look too, right? Time to embrace the disintegrating fashion trend, gentlemen! 💁♂️🤷♂️