Commentary:
"Who knew adulting was the ultimate pyramid scheme? 😂🕵️♂️ #ScammedByLife"
147 Funny keep quotes
Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.
Commentary:
"When my mouth gets a mind of its own, the struggle is real! 😂🤐🗣️"
We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, my kitchen's very own escape room challenge! 🥔🔐😂"
Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.
Commentary:
"🔥 Sleep tight in your toasty bridge bonfire! 😴🚧🤣"
Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.
Commentary:
"Typos are the spice of life! 🎲📧 Who knew autocorrect was a prankster in disguise? 😅🖋️"
I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.
Commentary:
"Friendship: the longest-lasting Tupperware rental agreement! 🥳🥡🤣"
Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.
Commentary:
"Wow, a box with a 20-year retirement plan! 🗃️📦✨ Who knew cardboard could be so future-focused? 😂 #BoxGoals"
Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.
Commentary:
"Just waiting for my Fitbit to start demanding I feed it, or worse, clean up after it! 😂🐾 #HumanGochi"
Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.
Commentary:
"Why stop at just friends and smartphones? I keep my cat, snacks, and remote closer too! Priorities, right? 📱😸🍕📺"
Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.
Commentary:
"Props to all the laundry basket and dish warriors who thought, 'Why not add dirt and plants to the mix?' 🌿🧺🍽️😂"