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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Live now on Slack:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Seen just now on Twitch:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They’re making me do work at work.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Trending via Reddit:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Going viral on Facebook:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Spotted on TikTok:

50 shades of single.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Freshly posted on X:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Trending via X:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Going viral on Reddit:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Going viral on Reddit:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

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