Commentary:
Just when you thought it was safe to change the channel… 📺🙃 Breaking news: it's still unpleasant! 😂📰
66 Funny news quotes
“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.
Commentary:
Feeling like a human battery constantly at 1% 😅🔋📉 #SOSRecharge
I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.
Commentary:
Felt like an extra in a 19th-century drama, just missing the cameo brooch and dramatic sigh 😂🦴☕
Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.
Commentary:
Who knew ignorance came with a built-in happiness booster 😂📰🚫✨
Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Commentary:
Trying to keep my personal life and work separate, but my lunch break gossip sessions say otherwise! 😅🤫🤐
Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.
Commentary:
Looks like that twin sibling rivalry really took a dark turn! 😅💥👯♂️
So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.
Commentary:
"Breaking News: Fact checkers discover the news was supposed to have facts all along! 🎤🐸📺"
Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?
Commentary:
"Why bother with thrillers when the news is already a full-length horror comedy? 🎥📰😂 #RealityShow"
Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.
Commentary:
"Breaking news: Toddler parents officially know more about Peppa Pig than current events! Tune in next for the weather report from Paw Patrol! 🐷📰🤣"
“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.
Commentary:
"Thanks for the warning! 🏃♀️🚪 Exit stage left! 😂"