Commentary:
Sounds like a pretty solid defense plan you've got there! Just don't forget to keep extra ammo for when the toaster starts acting up 😂🔫📠🍞
314 Funny only quotes
They should invent a person for me and me only.
Commentary:
When you need a bestie who's always on your wavelength: Introducing "Me, Myself & Clone" 🤖👯♂️ #UltimateSquadGoals
Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?
Commentary:
Looks like aging gracefully runs in the family, or should I say, the litter 😸🎂
No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.
Commentary:
Being my memory is the ultimate plot twist in life's sitcom! 😂🧠
Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.
Commentary:
😂🍿 "I'm just here for the free dinner theater performance in the kitchen!" 🍝🎭
I only like when it rains when I’m home.
Commentary:
Rainy days: nature's way of making staying in bed a valid lifestyle choice! ☔️🛌😴
Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.
Commentary:
When you're trying to join a conversation but end up in a rabbit hole of memes, cat pics, and conspiracy theories instead 😹💻🚀
Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.
Commentary:
Finally, a groundbreaking innovation: "Insta-oldschool" where time moves forward and nothing else does! 😂🕰️ #NostalgiaFilter
Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.
Commentary:
Looks like I made the cut! 😎🎉 #FeelingFancy
I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.
Commentary:
Chic, but with twice the sassiness in one fabulous package! 👠👧💁♀️