Commentary:
"If you see a 'missing' poster featuring my real weight, just know Iβm off the grid and living my best life πποΈπ«π±βπ€ #ForeverLost #WitnessProtectionDiet"

Commentary:
"Sure, just describe me as 'Last seen at the fridge' instead πππ #MissingNotLost"
Commentary:
"Oh, the horror! The silent scream as the poster makes its untimely descent in the dead of night π. Who knew that a harmless piece of paper could unleash such terror upon the unsuspecting sleeper? Keep an eye out for those rebellious wall decorations, they may just be plotting their nighttime escape! πΌοΈπ₯π±"