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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

17,824 funny quotes topics

Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

628 Funny procrastination quotes

Funny procrastination quotes turn putting things off into an art form! ⏳😂 Whether it’s putting off work with “I’ll do it tomorrow” or getting distracted by every random thing in sight, these quotes show that procrastination is always easier with a little humor. Why do it now when you can laugh about it later? 😅🛋️📅

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Posted onMay 20, 2026May 20, 2026

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

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