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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,910

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Making waves on Threads:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Just landed via Instagram:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Just shared via Slack:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Just shared via Reddit:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Freshly posted on X:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Trending via Facebook:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Making waves on TikTok:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

1479 Funny relationship quotes

More funny relationship quotes 👇

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

0

5 months ago

center, data, data center, different, girlfriend, humor, joke, know, relationship, tech, tech joke
Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

0

5 months ago

apology, communication, ghost, ghosted, ghosting, humor, i, interaction, just, me, relationship, social, social interaction, sorry
Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

0

5 months ago

black, black mold, cute, humor, life, mold, relationship, relationship status, self-deprecation, shower, single, single life, status
I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

0

5 months ago

confidence, dating, high, high-quality, humor, i, me, relationship, standard, standards, want, woman
Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

0

5 months ago

austen, dating, ghosting, humor, jane, Jane Austen, left, left on read, man, me, media, men, mine, rain, read, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, us
I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

0

5 months ago

ambition, boy, humor, i, life, me, pray, prayer, relationship, top, win, wish
A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

0

5 months ago

again, back, communication, female, ghost, ghosting, relationship, text, texting, time, waiting, whole
Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

0

5 months ago

anticipation, communication, couple, couples, humor, i, long distance, long-distance relationship, love, relationship, wait, waiting
No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

0

5 months ago

babe, humor, joke, just, love, partner, relationship, soulmate, worry

For even more funny relationship quotes, hit next 👇

All funny relationship quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Twitch this month:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

66 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

30 shares on Slack this month:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Seen just now on Slack:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Shared recently on Slack:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Freshly posted on X:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Going viral on Slack:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Activity Log ✨

1479 Funny relationship quotes

More funny relationship quotes 👇

All funny relationship quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨