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15,825 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: May 31, 2026

 

 

 

 

178 Funny self-care quotes

Funny self-care quotes remind us that taking care of ourselves doesn’t always have to be serious! 😌🛁 Whether it’s pampering yourself with snacks, pretending that one hour of sleep is enough, or indulging in some much-needed alone time, these quotes show that self-care can be just as funny as it is necessary. After all, laughter is a great form of self-care too! 😂💅🛋️

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Muting morons is good for your health.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

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