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Funny sex quotes

May 10
Share →: In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.
May 9
Share →: Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.
Oct 20
Share →: I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.
Oct 17
Share →: My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.
Oct 13
Share →: Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.
Oct 2
Share →: Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.
Sep 30
Share →: The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.
Sep 30
Share →: I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.
Sep 29
Share →: I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.
Sep 25
Share →: My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.