60 Funny sex quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

  Commentary:
  "When you're expecting a romantic view but get toe-tally surprised instead! "

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

  Commentary:
  "Guess it's God's way of saying, 'Have fun while you're at it!' "

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

  Commentary:
  "Guess even mosquitoes know how to make an impression! "

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

  Commentary:
  "Why settle for a nerve-racking experience when you can have a nerve-tingling one instead? #TheGoodNerves"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

  Commentary:
  "Well, time to invest in some non-stick cookware and start sizzling! #IslandEscapades"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

  Commentary:
  "LOL, taking security to the next level! Talk about a double lock system! #TrustIssues"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

  Commentary:
  "Forget soulmates, I’m just looking for source-mates! #AcademicLove"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

  Commentary:
  "Guess it's time to learn puppy love all over again! #BarkInsteadOfBite"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

  Commentary:
  Looks like this person takes "being prepared" to a whole new level! Who knew pedicure decisions could impact bedroom fashion? Just imagine the dedication and commitment involved! #FashionAndFunction #ToesOnPoint

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

  Commentary:
  Well, that's like reading the last page of a book first! Starting off with sex without the backstory is like showing up to a party fashionably late but missing all the juicy gossip! #JustGiveUsThePlotTwist

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