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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Jan 5, 2026

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Shared recently on Discord:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Going viral on Messenger:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Live now on Reddit:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Spotted on Slack:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

Going viral on Facebook:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

106 Funny sex quotes

Funny sex quotes bring a playful touch to the subject of intimacy and relationships! 😄💋 Whether it’s light-hearted humor about bedroom antics or witty remarks on romance, these quotes offer a fun perspective on a sometimes serious topic. Enjoy a laugh while embracing the lighter side of love! 😂❤️

New funny sex quotes 👇

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

0

6 days ago

anger, every, frustration, humor, lack, lack of sex, little, mad, mood, mood swings, reason, relationship, sex, swings, thing
Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

0

7 days ago

asking, communication, conversation, dating, end, flirting, humor, joke, just, relationship, sex, woman, women
How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

0

2 weeks ago

fitness, humor, joke, keep, longer, much, Pilates, pretend, pretending, sex, thing
I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

0

3 weeks ago

clothing, fashion, getting, help, honesty, humor, i, jean, jeans, just, lie, relationship, sex, skinny, skinny jean, struggle
I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

0

3 weeks ago

child, children, ed, family, humor, husband, multitasking, opinion, parenting, phone, pregnancy, run, scrolling, sex, sex ed, should, strong, taught, third, through, weeks, while, wild, woman
I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

1

3 weeks ago

bedtime, bedtime story, conversation, humor, i, joke, lie, me, relationship, sex, story, tell
Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

0

4 weeks ago

awkwardness, cool, crush, ever, humor, just, love, obsession, over, person, relationship, sex, tried, unrequited, unrequited love
Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

1

4 weeks ago

ahead, ahead of time, generation, generations, having, humor, i, less, people, person, previous, sex, show, study, time, young, young person
All I think about is death and sex.

0

4 weeks ago

dark, dark humor, death, humor, i, mind, obsession, sex, think, thought
Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

0

1 month ago

alarm, day, ever, freedom, great, humor, lazy, lazy day, morning, realize, relaxation, sex, sleep, today

For even more funny sex quotes, hit next 👇

All funny sex quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

98 shares on Discord this month:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

16 shares on Instagram this month:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,452

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Seen just now on TikTok:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Broadcasted on Threads:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Just shared via Twitch:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Making waves on Twitch:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Spreading quickly via X:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Making waves on Threads:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

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