112 funny sex quotes - Wordgag ツ

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

Feb 3, 2026

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

Feb 3, 2026

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

Feb 3, 2026

This email could’ve been sex.

Feb 3, 2026

This sex could have been an email.

Feb 3, 2026

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

Feb 3, 2026

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Feb 3, 2026

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Feb 3, 2026

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Feb 3, 2026

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Feb 3, 2026

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Feb 3, 2026

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Feb 3, 2026

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Feb 3, 2026

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Feb 3, 2026

All I think about is death and sex.

Feb 3, 2026

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Feb 2, 2026

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Feb 2, 2026

I remember sex. That was cool.

Feb 2, 2026

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Feb 2, 2026

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Feb 2, 2026Feb 23, 2026

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Feb 2, 2026

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Feb 2, 2026Feb 2, 2026

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Feb 2, 2026

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Feb 2, 2026Feb 2, 2026

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Feb 2, 2026

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Feb 2, 2026

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Feb 2, 2026

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Feb 2, 2026

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Feb 1, 2026

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Feb 1, 2026

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Feb 1, 2026

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Feb 1, 2026

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Feb 1, 2026Feb 1, 2026

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Feb 1, 2026

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Feb 1, 2026

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Jan 31, 2026

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Jan 31, 2026

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Jan 31, 2026

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Jan 31, 2026

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Jan 31, 2026