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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Just shared via Reddit:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Going viral on X:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Spreading quickly via X:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Seen just now on WeChat:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Shared recently on Slack:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

112 Funny sex quotes

Funny sex quotes bring a playful touch to the subject of intimacy and relationships! 😄💋 Whether it’s light-hearted humor about bedroom antics or witty remarks on romance, these quotes offer a fun perspective on a sometimes serious topic. Enjoy a laugh while embracing the lighter side of love! 😂❤️

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Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

97 shares on X this month:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

57 shares on Slack this month:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Going bananas on X:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Just landed via Snapchat:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Seen just now on Discord:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Going viral on Reddit:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Breaking via Reddit:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Spotted on Slack:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Shared recently on Threads:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

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