Funny Sex Quotes That Will Have You Blushing and Laughing! 🍑😂

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

4 months ago3 months ago

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

4 months ago3 months ago

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

4 months ago3 months ago

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

4 months ago3 months ago

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

4 months ago3 months ago

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

5 months ago3 months ago

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

5 months ago3 months ago

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

5 months ago3 months ago

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

5 months ago3 months ago

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

5 months ago3 months ago

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

5 months ago3 months ago

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

6 months ago3 months ago

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

6 months ago3 months ago

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

6 months ago3 months ago

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

6 months ago3 months ago

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Jun 15, 20243 months ago

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Jun 9, 20243 months ago

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

May 24, 20243 months ago

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

May 10, 2024May 10, 2024

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

May 9, 2024May 9, 2024

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Oct 17, 2023Oct 17, 2023

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Oct 13, 2023Oct 13, 2023

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Oct 2, 20233 months ago

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Sep 30, 2023Oct 17, 2023

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Sep 30, 2023Sep 30, 2023

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Sep 29, 2023Sep 29, 2023

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Sep 25, 2023Sep 25, 2023

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Sep 25, 2023Sep 25, 2023

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Sep 23, 2023May 6, 2024