Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

828 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,990

Funny Quotes Topics

13,934

Funny Quotes Images

10,990

3 minutes ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Just shared via X:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Just landed via Discord:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Just landed via Discord:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Home » Funny Sex Quotes

65 Funny sex quotes

Funny sex quotes bring a playful touch to the subject of intimacy and relationships! 😄💋 Whether it’s light-hearted humor about bedroom antics or witty remarks on romance, these quotes offer a fun perspective on a sometimes serious topic. Enjoy a laugh while embracing the lighter side of love! 😂❤️

New funny sex quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Commentary:
Finally, a plot twist I can get behind! 📚😅 #SelfImprovement
1 week ago
Share →: I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Commentary:
Can't decide if I'm more jealous of their shoes or their bank accounts! 💸👠😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Commentary:
"Life goals: always be in a taco or cuddle position. 🌮😂 #DreamBig"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Commentary:
"That's one way to keep those hands busy! 😂🥪✋👋"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Commentary:
"Guess we'll have to stick to a 'knight in shining armor' theme, but your accent's still jousting all over the UK! 😂🏰🌍 #AccentuateThePositive"
1 month ago
Share →: Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Commentary:
"When you're expecting a romantic view but get toe-tally surprised instead! 🤦‍♂️👣🤣"
2 months ago
Share →: If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Commentary:
"Guess it's God's way of saying, 'Have fun while you're at it!' 😂🌟🍑"
2 months ago
Share →: Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Commentary:
"Guess even mosquitoes know how to make an impression! 😂🦟💋"
2 months ago
Share →: The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Commentary:
"Why settle for a nerve-racking experience when you can have a nerve-tingling one instead? 😉😂 #TheGoodNerves"
2 months ago
Share →: Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Commentary:
"Well, time to invest in some non-stick cookware and start sizzling! 🔥🍳😏 #IslandEscapades"

For even more funny sex quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny sex quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

828 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,990

Funny Quotes Topics

13,934

Funny Quotes Images

10,990

3 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Reported on Discord:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Making waves on TikTok:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Just shared via Threads:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Spotted on Facebook:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Just landed via Reddit:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴