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98 Funny single quotes

Trending Funny Single Quotes 🔥

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.
Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.
Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.
Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.
My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

More funny single quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Commentary:
"Who says being single isn't political? 🗳️😂 Don't worry, your relationship status is always on the ballot! #SingleAndReadyToMingle #VoteForLove"
5 months ago
Share →: I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Commentary:
"Well, who needs a significant other when you can have a significant savings account, am I right? 💰🤷‍♂️ Retirement plan: 1, Relationships: 0. #PrioritiesInCheck"
5 months ago
Share →: Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old mystery of dating – like solving a complex puzzle with no manual! 🤔🕵️‍♂️ But hey, patience is key 😉 Who knows, maybe they're just holding out for someone as fabulous as they are! 💁‍♀️💕"
5 months ago
Share →: Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Commentary:
"Who needs swiping left or right when you can just aimlessly wander the aisles of a grocery store in search of romance? 🛒🤔 Who knows, you might just find your soulmate lost in the frozen foods section! ❄️😆 #LoveInTheProduceAisle"
5 months ago
Share →: Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Commentary:
"Being single is like having a secret superpower – the ability to binge-watch Netflix in peace and never worry about anyone judging your late-night snack choices 🍕💪 Who needs a relationship when you can have pizza and freedom all to yourself? 🍕❤️ #SingleLifeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Commentary:
"Looks like Texas takes their self-esteem seriously, getting a review right on their flag! ⭐️ Maybe they're just making it easy for others to rate their Lone Star state experience! 🤠 #TexasPride #ReviewMe"
5 months ago
Share →: Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Commentary:
Ah, the modern dating landscape – a complex dance of complication and chaos! 🕺💔 It's like trying to find a unicorn in a field of mermaids and centaurs! 🦄🧜‍♂️ But hey, just remember, finding someone who's not a little damaged is like finding a needle in a haystack… in a tornado! 🌪️📍 Keep your sense of humor intact and your heart open, for love will find its way
5 months ago
Share →: Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Commentary:
Dating over 40 is like playing an intense game of Hide and Seek, except you're the one in camouflage trying to blend in with the furniture! 🙈 Who needs a partner when you're the undisputed champion of disappearing acts? 🤣 #ExpertHider #AintNobodyGotTimeForThat
5 months ago
Share →: Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Commentary:
"Looks like the hot singles over 40 are not just asking for a date, but also for some health advice! 🔥💪 Forget pick-up lines, they want to know your joint pain secrets instead! 💬😂 Who knew finding love could also mean finding the best anti-inflammatory remedy? 🌿💕 #MatchmakingForPainRelief"
5 months ago
Share →: Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Commentary:
Ah, the joy of being single during the holidays. 🙃 While everyone else is busy decking the halls and roasting chestnuts over an open fire, us single folks are pros at putting on a brave face and pretending that we're totally fine spending another night alone with our Netflix queue. 🎄🎁 Just think of it as an extended opportunity to practice your solo dance moves and enjoy the entire box of chocolates without any judgment! 💃🍫 #SingleBells #