276 Funny still quotes

• “Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

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  3 months ago

  beauty, beauty sleep, day, expectations, humor, i, self-deprecation, sleep, still, trash, unrealistic, unrealistic expectations

• There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

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  3 months ago

  dating, first month, good, humor, love, man, month, months, nothing, person, personality, pretending, relationship, romance, still

• My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

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  3 months ago

  9, company, CV, exaggeration, good, humor, job, job search, months, nine, nine months, reading, resume, search, still

• No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

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  3 months ago

  am, busy, humor, i, matter, media, procrastination, social, social media, still, time, Twitter, waste

• “Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

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  3 months ago

  anxiety, attempt, awkward, awkward moment, cancel, communication, event, going, hesitation, introvert, moment, social, social anxiety, social event, still

• So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

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  3 months ago

  car, car crash, crash, crazy, daily, daily life, day, dentist, every, fascism, frustration, humor, i, irony, just, life, living, man, motion, slow, slow motion, still, through

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