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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

22 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Just shared via Messenger:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Making waves on Slack:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Seen just now on X:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Trending via WeChat:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Home » Funny Sword Quotes

Funny sword quotes

New funny sword quotes 👇

7 days ago
Share →: Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Commentary:
Packing fashion and bravery into one accessory, because nothing says 'confident' like a sword-ready strut! ⚔️💃✨
3 months ago
Share →: Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Commentary:
Well, sometimes you just have to trust the ladies in ponds with sharp objects, they might have better governmental advice than you think! 🗡️👩🌊 #SwordPowerGovernance
6 months ago
Share →: Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Commentary:
"Oops! Looks like I've left my trusty sword of connectivity at home today. 🤦‍♂️ Who knew that facing the day without our phones would be as nerve-wracking as facing a dragon without a sword? 🐉⚔️ Stay brave, fellow modern-day knights, and may we all survive this epic quest of forgetfulness!"
6 months ago
Share →: Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Commentary:
"Ah, self-awareness, the double-edged lightsaber of personal knowledge 🔪. It's like finding out you're both the hero and the comic relief in your life's movie 🎬. Sure, knowing yourself is great, but the cost? Let's just say ignorance might've been blissful, but it had terrible taste in music 🎵."

For even more funny sword quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

22 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Live now on Twitch:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Seen just now on X:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Trending via Reddit:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Just shared via X:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Going viral on TikTok:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Going viral on YouTube:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

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