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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Just shared via Slack:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Spotted on WeChat:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Making waves on TikTok:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Making waves on Telegram:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Just landed via Facebook:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Trending via Messenger:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Reported on LinkedIn:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Shared recently on Discord:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

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