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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Tested positive for being single af

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Shared recently on Threads:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Spotted on X:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Trending via Snapchat:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Spotted on Threads:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Just shared via Reddit:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Trending via Facebook:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Spotted on Messenger:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Funny vegan quotes

Funny vegan quotes are here to add a touch of humor to the plant-based lifestyle. 🥦😂 Whether you’re a dedicated vegan or just someone who enjoys a good laugh, these quotes serve up a side of wit along with your favorite greens. From playful jabs at common misconceptions to clever takes on the joys of vegan eating, these quips are sure to bring a smile to your face while you enjoy your favorite veggie dish. 🌱😄

New funny vegan quotes 👇

All funny vegan quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on X this month:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

31 shares on Discord this month:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t study, get slutty!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Just shared via Slack:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Trending via WeChat:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Spreading quickly via X:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Trending via Facebook:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Live now on Twitch:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Going bananas on Threads:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

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