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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Spotted on Slack:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Going viral on WeChat:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Trending via Snapchat:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Making waves on Slack:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Trending via TikTok:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Just landed via YouTube:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Making waves on WeChat:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

1 month ago

Humorous quote about aging and comfort foods with a playful, witty tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess it's time to trade my pizza for lentils and call it adulting at its finest! 🥲🥦🍕

age, aging, eating, food, foods, getting, getting older, humor, just, means, older, sad, sad food, start

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Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Slack this month:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

98 shares on Slack this month:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

46 shares on X this month:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

64 shares on Discord this month:

All I think about is death and sex.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Just landed via Twitch:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Just shared via TikTok:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Going viral on Telegram:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Just landed via Facebook:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Live now on Discord:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Making waves on Discord:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

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Activity Log ✨

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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