Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Live now on Slack:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Just shared via Threads:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Just landed via Discord:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Just shared via Slack:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Just landed via Slack:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Guess it's time to trade my pizza for lentils and call it adulting at its finest! 🥲🥦🍕

age, aging, eating, food, foods, getting, getting older, humor, just, means, older, sad, sad food, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

0

1 month ago

bra, dyslexia, dyslexic, humor, joke, man, pun, walking, walks, wordplay
Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

0

2 months ago

bar, chugging, drink, funny situation, humor, interaction, joke, nothing, safety, saying, situation, social, social interaction, woman
I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

0

2 months ago

angry, found, funny observation, humor, i, observation, people, pole, statistics, survey, tent
All I think about is death and sex.

0

1 month ago

dark, dark humor, death, humor, i, mind, obsession, sex, think, thought
Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

0

5 months ago

actually, allowed, boundary, excuse, humor, i, just, love, myself, rule, rules, self-control, sorry
Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

0

2 months ago

applying, applying for job, babe, cry, crying, date, frustration, humor, i, Indeed, job, job search, jobs, me, over, relationship, search, start, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

24 shares on Slack this month:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Breaking via Instagram:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Breaking via Reddit:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Spotted on Telegram:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Going viral on YouTube:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Going viral on Messenger:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

All I think about is death and sex.

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨