Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Trending via TikTok:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Just shared via TikTok:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Just landed via TikTok:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"🔥🚗 'Cause rolling through the flames in sweats is just how I tire my attire! 😂👕"

attire, casual, casual attire, fashion, fire, fuel, humor, humor quote

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

0

2 months ago

age, bathroom, early, getting, hold, humor, i, just, life, means, morning, pee
You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

0

2 months ago

dancing, expression, fake, hand, hands, humor, jazz, jazz hand, performance, smile
The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

0

5 months ago

adult, being, emotion, humor, life, matter, perseverance, resilience, responsibility, sad, sadness, show, worst
“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

0

2 months ago

actually, confusion, humor, i, irony, it is what it is, knowing, perspective, say, self-awareness, uncertainty
Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

0

2 months ago

bold, bold move, commentary, history, humor, i, incognito, incognito mode, joke, mode, move, online, online privacy, privacy, social, social commentary, tech, tech joke, tonight, turning
“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

0

6 months ago

attitude, bit, everything, humor, joke, little, me, sarcasm, unfortunately, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

95 shares on X this month:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

42 shares on X this month:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Just landed via Twitch:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Just shared via Reddit:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Live now on Discord:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Seen just now on Discord:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Shared recently on Twitch:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨