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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,890

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Going viral on Threads:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Going viral on YouTube:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Broadcasted on Discord:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Trending via Discord:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to finish a bottle of Worcestershire sauce is like playing a video game on expert level 🎮🕵️‍♂️🥫

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, humor, mistakes, recap, reflection, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, wrapped, year
They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

0

2 months ago

apple, avoidance, away, day, doctor, eat, eating, everyone, food, health, humor, i, interaction, joke, keep, keeps, need, say, social, social interaction
Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

0

4 weeks ago

dad, every, family, humor, i, mom, parent, reaction, refund, relationship, sarcasm, something, stares, stupid, time, wants
Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

0

2 months ago

compliment, fashion, good, humor, look good, lose, love, me, potato, potato sack, relationship, sack, self-esteem, tell
Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

0

2 months ago

car, dark, dark humor, ever, hit, hospital, humor, injury, month, mood, sarcasm, spend
Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

0

2 months ago

choices, consequences, drain, flow, humor, just, life, spiral

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

50 shares on X this month:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Making waves on Threads:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Spotted on Slack:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Broadcasted on Discord:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Spotted on Messenger:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Just shared via YouTube:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Seen just now on Slack:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨