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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has copied:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him β€œJust drive”.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has copied:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has viewed:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has shared:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has copied:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,244

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Going viral on Slack:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Making waves on Facebook:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Making waves on Reddit:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Going viral on Reddit:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

I am not in a good place, geographically.

0
I am not in a good place, geographically.
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Commentary:
"Oh no, does that mean you're stuck in the Bermuda Rectangle, where all sense of direction disappears? πŸ—ΊοΈ Or perhaps you've accidentally wandered into the land of missing socks and misplaced keys! πŸ” Hang in there, hopefully Google Maps can guide your way to a better location! πŸ“"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on X this month:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

23 shares on Facebook this month:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

96 shares on Threads this month:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have never seen a single β€œwhen animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Not going is the new leaving early.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

And is this β€œyear-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,395

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has shared:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has downloaded:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has shared:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on Slack:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Just shared via WeChat:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Just landed via Reddit:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Live now on Snapchat:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m afraid to go to therapy β€” what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Making waves on Slack:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Seen just now on Slack:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

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