Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Making waves on Messenger:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Breaking via Reddit:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Spotted on Slack:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Just landed via Slack:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Spotted on Twitch:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Spotted on Reddit:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Shared recently on Twitch:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
God must be telling the angels, "I'm not updating my Holy app just for a rebranding!" 😇📱😂

bet, calls, God, humor, i, joke, media, social, social media, still, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

0

6 months ago

colour, creatures, difference, different, fan, fans, favourite, favourite colour, humour, people, personality, purple, purple fan, things
Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

0

2 months ago

Android, iPhone, loyalty, person, stubborn, switch, technology
As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

0

2 months ago

academic, dream, fiction, grant, humor, i, proposal, remember, sometimes, writing
Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

0

2 months ago

blocking, cold, cold side, comfort, enough, hope, humor, i, never, pillow, side, sleep
“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

0

2 months ago

age, feel, feeling, getting, getting older, humor, i, just, life, life perspective, number, older, perspective
The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, before, bench, bench press, exercise, fitness, good, gym, humor, laying, lifting, press, relaxation, right, workout

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Telegram this month:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Going viral on Threads:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Seen just now on X:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨