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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Going viral on Instagram:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Trending via YouTube:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Spotted on Pinterest:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Seen just now on Discord:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Just shared via WeChat:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Trending via Reddit:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Just landed via Telegram:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

1 month ago

Witty text about divine humor referencing Twitter's name.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
God must be telling the angels, "I'm not updating my Holy app just for a rebranding!" 😇📱😂

bet, calls, God, humor, i, joke, media, social, social media, still, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Twitch this month:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

95 shares on WeChat this month:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Seen just now on Discord:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Going viral on Discord:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Just shared via WeChat:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Trending via Reddit:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨