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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

If you donโ€™t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

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An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

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Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

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You know youโ€™ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, โ€œTake the thing off the thing,โ€ and he immediately knows what to do.

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I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

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Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

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Sometimes itโ€™s not a secret, itโ€™s just none of your business.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. Thatโ€™s not your line, man.

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Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

I be like, โ€œI needed this,โ€ and it’s just me getting drunk.

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I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Commentary:
Sounds like your kid graduated from the School of Slow Shoelace Tying! ๐Ÿข๐Ÿ‘Ÿ๐Ÿ˜„

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