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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

What are cats even trying to do?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Going viral on Reddit:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Spotted on Telegram:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Making waves on Snapchat:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Just shared via X:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Trending via WeChat:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Making waves on Twitch:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just tuned into your brainwaves—amazing show! 📡😆🧠"

communication, contact, humor, i, life, media, modern, modern life, sarcasm, social, social media, technology, telepathy, text, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, hurry, laptop, slowness, technology
Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

0

2 months ago

cause, energy, humor, irony, just, label, loss, medication, read, removal, thinking, warning, weight, weight loss, wishful, wishful thinking, wrinkle, wrinkle removal
These aliens are taking forever.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, forever, humor, patience, time, wait
Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

0

5 months ago

2, car, driving, gangsta’s, Gangsta’s Paradise, hand, hand position, hands, home, humor, listening, music, nostalgia, paradise, position, road, road safety, safety, song
Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

0

5 months ago

alcohol, apple, apple juice, drink, fruit, fruit juice, humor, juice, shy, taste, too, wants
The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

0

2 months ago

age, eyesight, humor, i, looks, lose, losing, older, perspective, problem, self-deprecation, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

They’re making me get out of bed.

96 shares on Discord this month:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

33 shares on Discord this month:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Seen just now on Slack:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Live now on Telegram:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Spotted on YouTube:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Just shared via Threads:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Trending via WhatsApp:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Breaking via TikTok:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Just shared via YouTube:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

These aliens are taking forever.

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨