Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Trending via Instagram:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Spotted on TikTok:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
She clocked out, kicked her feet up, and said “let’s see how this episode ends” 😇🍿📺

angel, believe, divine, divine humor, drama, eating, entertainment, guardian, guardian angel, humor, i, just, observation, point, popcorn, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

0

2 months ago

babe, couple, humor, joke, ok, playful, prophecy, relationship, sarcasm, witty
May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

0

2 months ago

force, humor, meeting, meetings, Monday, motivation, star, Star Wars, wars, work
Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, humor, important, life, responsibility, ruining, stress, work
It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

0

2 months ago

activity, bed, before, getting, getting out of bed, humor, important, motivation, physical, physical activity, warm, warm-up
One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

0

2 months ago

aging, change, cleaner, excited, excitement, fun, humor, minute, new, next, vacuum, vacuum cleaner, young, youth
Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

0

2 months ago

admit, appearance, attraction, dating, dress, dude, fashion, fine, Funny, girl, girls, humor, medium, nice, style, super, ugly

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Threads this month:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

30 shares on Threads this month:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Going viral on Telegram:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Breaking via YouTube:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Spotted on X:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Live now on Snapchat:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Breaking via Pinterest:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨