Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Making waves on Telegram:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Trending via Slack:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Trending via Messenger:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Breaking via Slack:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Seen just now on Reddit:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Just shared via Slack:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Going viral on Facebook:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When it comes to support, I'm there faster than the speed of light—just don't expect those messages to be a part of the equation 😄📵✨

absolutely, anything, communication, except, excuse, friends, friendship, honesty, humor, i, just, know, loyalty, message, need, procrastination, reply, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

0

2 months ago

company, diversity, hire, humor, never, twins, workplace
I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, frustration, getting, humor, life, responsibility, responsible, tired
Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

0

1 month ago

beat, distraction, humor, internet, net, procrastination, sleep, surfing, trying
Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

0

5 days ago

always, anywhere, around, driving, guys, humor, joke, mad, Mad Max, max, post-apocalyptic, travel, why
I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

0

2 months ago

alarm, always, earlier, five, humor, i, listen, minutes, morning, morning routine, music, procrastination, routine, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, wake, wake up
Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

0

5 months ago

actually, attraction, communication, crush, dating, easy, flirting, humor, love, nervousness, relationship, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Live now on Snapchat:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Trending via Reddit:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Live now on Twitch:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Breaking via YouTube:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Spotted on Discord:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Going viral on Messenger:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨