Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,699

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Spotted on Messenger:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When it comes to support, I'm there faster than the speed of light—just don't expect those messages to be a part of the equation 😄📵✨

absolutely, anything, communication, except, excuse, friends, friendship, honesty, humor, i, just, know, loyalty, message, need, procrastination, reply, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

2 months ago

bad, credit, debt, delete, finance, finance joke, financial, hackers, humor, joke, just, mortgage, satire, technology, why
Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

2 months ago

humor, immigrant, irony, job, lazy, paradox, person, Schrodinger, stealing, too, work
Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

2 months ago

humor, increase, Instagram, intelligence, IQ, media, social, social media, technology, uninstall
If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

2 months ago

communication, fine, humor, relationship, trouble, warning
I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

2 months ago

adult, being, humor, i, joke, life, responsibility, sarcasm, stepping, stepping down, thank, tired
Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

2 months ago

14th, couple, day, expensive, getting, home, hotel, hotel room, humor, people, position, positions, relationship, room, rooms, same, sex, sex position, shout, travel, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

65 shares on Threads this month:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

66 shares on Slack this month:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Just shared via TikTok:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Trending via Slack:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Spotted on WeChat:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Just shared via Instagram:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Trending via Slack:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Trending via Twitch:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨