I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic. Posted on2 months ago by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image FacebookXPinterestRedditLinkedInEmailWhatsAppCommentary:"Ah, the perfect blend of mystery and buzz! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธโ๏ธ Just be sure not to spill the beans… or the booze! ๐คซ๐ธ" Related Funny Posts ๐ค I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious. As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels. I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t. The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee. An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit. I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake. Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.