I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic. 3 months ago FacebookXPinterestRedditLinkedInEmailWhatsAppCommentary:"Ah, the perfect blend of mystery and buzz! 🕵️♂️☕️ Just be sure not to spill the beans… or the booze! 🤫🍸" Related Funny Quotes 🤝 As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels. A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink. Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it. People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy. I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.