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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

β€œYou’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has viewed:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has viewed:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has bookmarked:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has viewed:

β€œWhat do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has downloaded:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has copied:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via WeChat:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Making waves on Reddit:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Spotted on Discord:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Going viral on Threads:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Breaking via Threads:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Just shared via Messenger:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Just landed via X:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

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I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.
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Commentary:
Just doing my part to stimulate the economy, one cart at a time! πŸ›’πŸ’ΈπŸ˜‚

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Messenger this month:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

71 shares on Discord this month:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

People text β€œHappy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

97 shares on WeChat this month:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, β€œIt’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œWhat fresh hell is this?β€œ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If love is the answer then what was the question?

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has copied:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has shared:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like β€œSlimelord” and β€œGlunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has copied:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

When I say I’m tired, the β€œof people” is silent.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has copied:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡· has viewed:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Instagram:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Shared recently on X:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Going viral on Telegram:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Making waves on Reddit:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Just shared via Telegram:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Trending via Discord:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Just landed via Messenger:

I highly recommend getting yourself a β€œHow can I help” partner and not a β€œYou will be fine” partner.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Making waves on Discord:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

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