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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,240

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Just landed via Twitch:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

3 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This sounds like the start of a rom-com or a therapy session! 😅💘📚

emotion, humor, i, love, poet, relationship, therapist, thrill, worry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

0

2 months ago

20, aging, bad, bad eating habit, body, body image, eating, exercise, habit, habits, hate, humor, humorous, humorous observation, i, image, myself, no exercise, observation, picture, self-awareness, selfie, take
The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

0

2 months ago

cat, humor, i, life, narcissist, only, personality, pet, self-love
At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

0

2 months ago

age, hours, humor, last, life, microsleep, rest, sleep
I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

0

5 months ago

awkwardness, charm, dating, flirt, humor, i, ID, romance, seduction
Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

0

2 months ago

gurgling, gut, humor, meeting, noises, quiet, thing, trust, weird, work
“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

0

2 months ago

actually, comedy, daily, daily grind, fresh, frustration, grind, hell, humor, irony, repetition, same, sarcasm, yesterday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

54 shares on X this month:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

96 shares on X this month:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

18 shares on Slack this month:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Going viral on TikTok:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Live now on Snapchat:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨