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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,068

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Shared recently on Discord:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Shared recently on Facebook:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Seen just now on X:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

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I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐓 Rise and shine like a rooster they said, but they forgot to mention the screaming part! 😂 Who needs coffee when you can start your day with a good old-fashioned wake-up call from your inner rooster? Just remember to save the wandering around for after you've had your morning brew! ☕ #MorningRoutineGoals

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

90 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,892

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Live now on Twitch:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Broadcasted on Slack:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Making waves on TikTok:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Trending via Threads:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

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