Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Breaking via TikTok:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Going bananas on Threads:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Going viral on WeChat:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Shared recently on WeChat:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Just shared via Slack:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet sound of someone else's freedom as my background music while I draft another email 🤣💼✨

hate, home, i, job, jobs, me, much, once, people, quitting, vlog, watch, wish, wishing, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

0

2 months ago

humor, language, lead, odd, oddity, pronunciation, read, wordplay
Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

0

2 months ago

13th, asked, call, conference, conference call, conversation, conversation starter, experience, Friday, Friday the 13th, hockey, hockey mask, humor, mask, spooky, starter, unique, unique experience, workplace
Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, exhausting, exhaustion, fake, fake laugh, humor, interaction, just, laugh, laughing, leave, life, me, mental, mental exhaustion, mentally, office, office life, please, social, social interaction, work
If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

0

2 months ago

humor, milk, motivation, oats, self-expression, want, whatever
Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

0

4 weeks ago

dating, Funny, funny observation, hard, hard to get, hard to want, humor, me, men, observation, playing, want
I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

0

5 months ago

adult, adulting, being, breakfast, budgeting, cake, health, humor, i, irony, meant, mental, mental health, therapy, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

71 shares on X this month:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

18 shares on X this month:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

36 shares on X this month:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Spotted on Twitch:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Just shared via Messenger:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Going viral on YouTube:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Just landed via Messenger:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Spotted on Slack:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Spotted on Facebook:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Spotted on Messenger:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨