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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Breaking via Discord:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Live now on Discord:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Live now on Instagram:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

Just landed via YouTube:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Live now on Slack:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Apparently grass has no WiFi, but it sure did refresh my glitchy system 🤷‍♂️🚀 #StillAwkward"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

43 shares on Slack this month:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

16 shares on Discord this month:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Spotted on Facebook:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Going viral on Discord:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

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