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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

373 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,642

Funny Quotes Topics

17,685

Funny Quotes Images

15,642

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,720

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Seen just now on Discord:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Spotted on TikTok:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Spotted on WeChat:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Live now on Threads:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Just shared via YouTube:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Just landed via Twitch:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Live now on Twitch:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you were suffering from an acute case of rom-com syndrome 😂❤️💔

effort, heart, humor, i, illness, love, mental, mental illness, putting, relationship, sarcasm, soul, thought, used, where, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

2 months ago

asking, awkward, before, dental, dental visit, dentist, fingers, humor, humorist, joke, mouth, prank, question, silly, sticking, visit
I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

2 months ago

bonus, bonus features, brevity, communication, features, humor, i, irony, punchline, say, short, story, storytelling, tell
If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

2 months ago

English, ever, humor, irony, just, language, lead, read, remember, rhyme, think, weird, wordplay
If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

2 months ago

aniston, celebrity, conspiracy, feed, humor, Jennifer, Jennifer Aniston, JFK, killed, media, news, reading, satire, social, social media, Twitter
“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

2 months ago

age, getting, grandparent, grandparents, having, humor, i, nostalgia, realization, realize, upstairs, vacuum, where
Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

2 months ago

alcohol, double, drink, end, forget, humor, me, memory, relationship, seeing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

54 shares on X this month:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

79 shares on Telegram this month:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Just shared via Messenger:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Just landed via Twitch:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Seen just now on X:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨