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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Making waves on WeChat:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Making waves on Discord:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Just landed via TikTok:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about wishing dreams would chase you instead of the other way around.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, a bold twist on the chase game – turning the tables on dreams! 🌠 It's about time they do some legwork, right? Who knows, maybe they'll be so eager to catch you that they'll trip over their own clouds! ☁️😂 #DreamChaser"

aspiration, chase, dream, humor, i, irony, me, motivation, want, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite date activity is ice skating because I’m really good at it, and it allows me to assert dominance on the ice.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Going viral on Snapchat:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Making waves on Facebook:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Going viral on Telegram:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Going viral on Reddit:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

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