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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Shared recently on X:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Trending via Discord:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Seen just now on Telegram:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Going viral on Twitch:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Making waves on Telegram:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Trending via Pinterest:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

1 week ago

Playful, witty text about hiding birthday gifts, with a humorous and lighthearted vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hmm, let's hope I'm not stuck under the bed with those missing socks! 🎁🧦 Maybe I'm chilling in the pantry next to the cookies, or perhaps I've gone incognito as a decorative pillow in the living room. Wherever I am, I'm definitely not making it easy for you to find me! 😉

birthday, daughter, gift, hiding, humor, i, months, parenting, surprise, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Discord this month:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

68 shares on TikTok this month:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

49 shares on X this month:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep saying, “It is what it is,” but what even is it?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Spotted on Messenger:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Breaking via X:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Spotted on Facebook:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Trending via Reddit:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

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