I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.